My Blog

a week ago, i wrote some words here, saying how i was depressed and sad because i lost my baby again. today,when i read the beautiful lines some lovely friends sent me, i felt warm. it makes things easier. thanks to all! i will be stronger, and i think now i am strong!i will be myself again. no--- i will be a better me tomorrow. i will!

It’s the hardest time for me and my husband. I feel nothing but hurt. It’s the worst day ever for a woman like me, who has been so eager to be a mother. Three months ago, I thought I was the happiest woman in the world, because I was going to have my own baby. It was the best thing ever that had happened to us. In that period of time, nothing would be difficult for me to take, nothing would let me down, nothing …

Now, I have to face the third abortion of my life. I lost my baby again. I don’t know how many women in the world have had this nightmare, how many women have to undergo this loss, but it really hurts, to me.

I don’t know whether it is because I have too much happiness, so they have to take some away from me.

I can’t remember how many times I told myself ---when you lost, tell yourself : “there is less to lose”. But still, I can’t get rid of the feeling that I am a loser, totally a loser.

How people wish time would go backward. But this time I wish time would go faster, taking my hurts far far far away…

are you happy today?you are?how lucky you are!

because i am not.

i'm in a bad mood today!and i have been in a bad mood for  a couple of weeks.i'm in a frustrating situation. i feel i have been defeated by life.i don't want to accept it. but at the same time. i hate myself because i cannot excuse myself for my weakness.i should be strong.i'm much luckier than the people who lost their homes, families, even their lives.maybe i want too much. i don't deserve that much.i should get to know myself better,try to know what i really am. don't blame and complain!keep the words in mind: you are only one, but still you are one; you cannot do everything,but  still you can do something; that you cannot do everything will not make you refuse to do that something well! carry on!carry on!carry on!!!!!!!!!!!