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March 22, 2017
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The neuroscience has discovered that human growth and spirituality are matched to development of intelligence. 

During a Deep research we would like to take away all prejudices, personal history and the negative meanings, in order to discover the reality, so we found a fundamental tool to understand better the integral process which is proposed here to form and forge the human being identity from a new perspective. 


I. The human brain. 
Humans have 4 brains (or 4 parts in brain). The first one is called the reptilian. - This is the most basic and primitive, there is no one who have no it, its work is to keeping us alive: the breathing, the blood the pressure, and everythig the body does without our consent, comes form this brain. 


The second brain is the limbic. Inside limbic system we can find the emotional development. The cerebral tonsil is a part of our limbic system, emotions are there and the ability to run away from the danger. Limbic system is activated through the emotions. 


The emotions are in the human being to fix the memories. We are emotional human beings because on evolutionary level it has been necessary to develop our intelligence to fix the memories trough the emotions. All of us have a body memory, the first memory we developed is the sensory memory through the external stimulies. 


Body memory records and retains information even when we are not aware. Our needs, our repressed emotions, fears and our most intimate aspirations are added to the body memory. 


The limbic system produces chemical substances that allows the human being to fix the memories in every lived event and this process can sometimes become against us when the emotions go to high level and exceed the normality top by invading and dominating the reasoning. It is when the person is lost. 


The third brain is the logical (or rational). Here is the logical reasoning and the human intelligence already to support the other two brains. 
This allows us to be a human and reach levels of comprenhesion and understanding that make us different from animals. 
The prefrontal cortex allowes the development of a fourth brain, which is related to mystical experiences and this will let us realize how is life in reality. 


Usually the logic fights against the emotions. Despite we are intelligent beings, every one of us sees the reality according to our own history, pains, traumas, important experiences, etc.

 

II. The sensoriality 
The first human experience related to sensoriality occurs during the pregnacy: That warm place where neither hunger or cold are felt, pain does not exist, and this is the place we all would like to return because we are safe and it is nice to be there. Until the 6 months pregnacy the fetus is not able to hear the external voices. It is after the seventh month when placental’s permeability changes, so external situations as violence could affect the fetus and the bodys memory. 


During the first months in gestation there is a sense of unity between the mother and the fetus, it is not like a metaphor but it is totally real, because we are only one with mother. Although this sensation is not in the third or fourth brain but it remains in the sensory memory. Here comes the need for us to merge with other human in a single being, so we could re-experience that wonderful feeling: "two in one." 


The experience of human life that resembles this unity is the sexuality, specifically the orgasm, this allows us (even for a few moments) to reach the unity of two beings in only one; but if we add to this experience love, it could be so much illuminating than just simple common sex; and, it is when the body remembers what we already knew before: "the experience of become in only one". 


III. Meditation and prayers. 
Some people practice meditation and/or prayings to reach the unification and find a themselves without the ego, personal experiences and particular history that our first 3 brains were recording along our life, in order to find the inner essence who we really are and discover the reality as it really is, without personal prejudices or personal experiences, and finally find "the one." 


IV. Human personality 
Let’s imagine a container to melt some metals to form a stronger one. On the same way we can compare this container to a personality, then, these will be the elements that we will throw to form a human personality: 
First we have the human temperament. - It is related to the genetic inheritance from our parents. We will define temperament as the way to reacts for external stimuli. We have, therefore, timid, impulsive, extroverted or daring people. We can discover people’s temperament since babies. Temperament gradually forges our personality. The temperament doesn’t change but can get tempered: We can get profitable benefit from it. There are no good or bad temperaments; all of them have a positive and a negative side. 


On second place, we have the significant experiences. - These are about the personal history that every one of us lived. 
We all have good and bad experiences but what will most impact in our personality are the significant ones. 


If along our personal history there are too many conflicts, violence, traumas (a trauma is an external attack that impacts on the body and on the mind, and it Is built in two ways: blow or drop by daily events or through a hard impact event). Traumas also will impact in the personality if there is not something positive to compensates those negative experiences. 


If a person did not receive the basic emotional elements during a childhood, so, grow up with a great lack. The things that most contribute to the container are: lack, abandonment, comparison to others, devaluation, degradation, loss of dignity, parent’s fighting and all kind of violence. 


Let’s remember, during the childhood the baby meets the world through his senses. We all have positive experiences, there is no one who have not any of them; The simple fact to live could contribute us to connect to many pleasure, nice, good and positive experiences. 


The third element that forms the personality is called character. The word character comes from the Latin Word “charazo, that means "what is forged", that means, something that get unit to make stronger. 


Then, if we unit temperament to meaningful experiences, our character will be shaped or forged. 


These three elements form our personality, those become us in different human being, who we really are. The way our temperament react and our positive and negative elements added in the container will give us a size, a shape, and a way to connect us to the external world. 


In order to explain clearly this last element, it is necessary to pay attention that the human being is able to build an to improve a way trough an internal transformation process to reach the happiness, to live better, connected, in peace, reach serenity and spirituality. Those good experiences in life are the clue to drive us to the possitive way; but, opposite to this, the bad experiences in life will carry us trough our dark side. 


We mean by “the dark side”, that place where the human being is hidden; its where the shame grows to connect us to the addictions. So, the meaning that impacts can easily throw us to the dependencies or the obsessions. Its easy for the person who got there, to hang from other person, food, sex, alcohol or drugs. 


The fifth element that science researched, also form an important part of the human personality and plays a fundamental role even when it is intangible. It is called "spirituality". This fifth element is linked to the prefrontal cortex in the fourth brain, and it is the good one that must be stimulated to get a deep important change inside the human’s personality. 


This is, the right way to control diseases like addictions and obsessions. 


V. THE MEANING 
Human beings usually live throguh meanings. The important issues that get our attention and relevancy. Those things we spend time, commitment, energy, effort and intention will be "the really important issues". 


VI. THE LOVE 
Love is an element that emerges as an evolutionary part of men for reproduction and subsistence. 


This phenomenon affects the limbic part of the brain (emotions). Usually the human being gets in love without intention. When it happens, many chemical substances are stimulated inside the human body through human chemistry, such as endorphins that stimulate the mood and have a similar effect as the morphine. 


Infatuation makes the person feel very good, but at the same time, it alters our awarness. It is easy to fall in love in a total attachment experience, merging with other. (human being needs to love and to feel loved) 
Falling in love is one of the most revealing and fascinating human’s experiences in life, but, on the other hand, sometimes it become a failure, it brings many unexpected children and sometimes leads us to very destructive relationships. We don’t say it is bad to love, only would like to clear what does love means for the human being. 


Always infatuations have death line time: it starts and ends in a certain period of time. 


Very often for people in love the boundaries of ego fall down, it is understandable if we realize all kind substances secreted the organism and the meaning that the brain gives in receiving them, it makes the person to feel in a deep well-confortable pleasure. 


It is easy for the people in love to lost the ego, so they are able to merge completely with other; this experience could become addictive, powerless, joyful and fascinating because the happiness and enjoyment are high, so we would like to live it forever; we would like to freeze the time in this well-being stage. 


During and after mammals gestation and during the suckle stage, it is produced a chemical sustance called "oxytocin", that makes us feel attached to the other. 


Oxyparous do not produce oxytocin, so, we can see how some of them eat their own babies like snakes or spiders. 


But for the mammals wich feed their babies, they form groups and hierarchies to protect them. 


So we get to the conclution that the “attachment” is a chemical phenomenon produced by humans and animals, through the production of the hormones, during this strange and complex conjunction in relation to the 4 brains mentioned before, in order to reach this wonderful experience “The unity” 
Recently researches show that people who fix oxytocin production as a wrong response to the body can not easily detach themselves. In fact, detachment is not easy generally for the human race.

 

VII. DETACHMENT 
To find detachment as a formula for human growth, this article is looking to explain the ideal methodology trough the human’s awarness expanding to achieve this goal. 


So we have that “Attachment” is a destructive addiction, classified as the root that causes the human being disability, despite the damage it can provoke, to leave other person or (food, sex, alcohol, drugs, bad behaviours like violence, lies, extremely clean, extremely dirty, etc.). 


When oxytocin stop segreation, the codependent could feel the same sypmtoms as the addict to drug or alcoholic to alcohol. This disease is progressive and usually causes psychiatric problems. Many people usually ends in hospitals, jail or cementery. 


Adict can suffer panic attacks and extremely anxiety, (convulsions in the body installed from limbic system); At this moment there is no longer reasoning for him. Attacks (the first brain and the autonomous system go crazy) come suddenly; can feel tachycardia, hands sweat, lips tremble, can not breath and all body enter into crisis. This is a dangerous situation that can affect seriously the health and balance, usually ends in inability to work and to social life. 


On psychoanalytic point of view, the detachment is synonymous of death "Everything that separates, everything that is broken, everything that ends and everything that sinks", are in relation to the nonexistence for the patient. 


The biggest fear in humans is death and this is a big mistake we commmit usually, because the fear to die will get us extremely worry and anxious. 
The big challenge today is to deactivatie this locked system in mind. We must learn the way to control the fear that comes from reptilian brain, passes through the limbic brain, and arrives at the reasoning area, there it is installed and produce extreme anxiety. For the person who has filled the container with significant negative experiences, it would be a really hard challenge to overcome.


Usually when the experiences of lack happended during early childhood they set deeply into our sensory memory. 


A common example: 
An alcoholic father and a codependent mother: The man runs for the addiction with devotion, obsession and compulsion; Everything else loses relevance and is blurred; for him, the only important is alcohol. 
Behind him we find the woman, her desire is the man who ignores her. The importance for her is everything about him, what does he do, say and think. Everything else loses value. Finally, behind them we find the children completely unprotected and emotionally abandoned. 


The emotional deficiencies that we suffer during childhood are fundamental basis to prevent the adult to get a good self-esteem. It is easy for the adult who had childhood's lacks, to become dependent or or addict to substances, alcohol, food, sex, or others, in order to compensate "erroneously" with “pleasure” looking for the positive experiences he needed.


The codependent has self-esteem destroyed, he feels shame and regret; he enjoys nothing. The pleasure must be deserved, to enjoy it without blame, but it is hard for him to connect with this feeling.

 

We can find here 2 kinds of pleasure.

The physical pleasure provided by alcohol, drugs, food, sex or codependency as base of the obsession., and the pleasure that provides peace, serenity, harmony and spirituality.


So, there is the pleasure which high improve the human being and the pleasure that sinks and denigrates in the addictions. 
It is important to say that codependency, alcoholism and addictions, progress day after day causing pain and a lot of problems to those who get involved and to their families too, as well as the damage in the emotional, spiritual and physical health. 


VIII. BASIC EMOTIONAL NEEDS DURING THE CHILDHOOD. 
Human being have physical needs like eat, drink, sleep and others; there are also basic emotional needs. It is important for the child to covers all the needs. These are some important ones: 


1.- Existential recognition. If a child is seen and recognized for adults, so, he realizes that he really exists because is important to someone else.  
When the mother feed the baby, he is able to perceive the smell of her pheromones, if she look at him with love during the feeding, (or at least a look with protection), so the need for recognition will be covered. During womb, the protection is transmitted to the child's immune system too. Meanwhile mother is looking the baby with love purposes, she is giving the first bases in his prefrontal cortex, so baby can realize he is alive and really exists. 


Babies who are not breastfed (or feed without love), usually get sick, deteriorate and die without fighting for their life, they are children disconnected from the world because they have not been seen, they were not understood on this important stage in their life as human being. 
When a person feels disconnected to the rest of the world, feels is disappearing, if there is no conection to any other human being around, so he feels he does not exist. Depression, and deep dark come to the subconscious, those are connected to death, so, it is easy fot this kind of people, to feel totally unmotivated and sad. 


2.- The words. - Through the words the baby listen voice tones of the external world and begins to exist from what adults tell him he really is and the meaning he has for others.


3.- Love recognition. - The ability to feel loved. A baby who feel unloved, develops in his Brian, the bases of sickly attachment. This is like a codependent behaviour which wont let him release especially affect in love experience to others. 


4.- Social recognition. - The feeling to belong to a group or to a family is extremely important for a human. When a child is excluded, rejected or marginalized, that is a terrible negative experiencie for him. He needs to form part of something bigger than him, and feel he is not alone. 
Children who grow up in dysfunctional families will develope inside their brain all those elements mentioned before. The neurochemical question, and the symbolic interpretation that the child makes according to his reality comes from the sensoriality and develop his intelligence will contribute to the development of a sick or a health mind. 


Children who live in dysfunctional families develop in the (limbic) brain, a "malformation". When the amygdala is altered trough constant anxiety, anguish and negative experiences, its size change. For example: If a coffe pot is turned on always, this would be broken in the electrical circuits. On the same way, the amígdala that is always in alert, finally will get broken and altering. 


Children who are on alert all the time to save themselves from a harm or dangerous situation, have their system always to the limit of stress. If this situation last for years, their anti-stress system would be deformed, and when time pases, they could easily become addicted to those addictive substances which generates conflict, they will try to find balance and feel good, the substances which make him feel victim generate addiction, anxiety, fear, anxiety, depression and obsession. How is possible for a human being to become addicted to something so negative? The answer is, yes, certainly human would becomes addict because off the lack of positive experiences in life to get in balance. 


IX. THE OBSESSION 
It is the thought of someone or something, that comes repetitively to the mind without evoking it.

 

There is no perfect system human growth but there are cognitive behavioral therapies. For example, when a machine plays bad a melody, usually we dont breake the machine. We try to change to another melody; that is the same example in relation to the human mind, so it is possible through exercises and therapy to change the brain ways wich evoke and active wrong our memories. 


X. SPIRITUALITY 
When the anti-stress system was altered by anxiety and distress over long time; When traumas, stress and repeated painful events, impacted time after time our mind. Is it possible to heal? 


Well, there have been situations where some people had changed their way, but not trough their strenght will, or reasoning system. 


To clarify this topic, please let me ask you: How can be possible those extremely situations as in the guiness? What about a mother who saw her son under a truck and she could raise the car to let him free? Why?? How is possible for a human to win gold medals in the competitions? Where comes this extraordinary and formidable effort to face hard challenges?? How can a human cross mountains and reach unimaginable goals?

The answer is: "The human spirit." 


The human spirit is the way we can achieve a healthy emotional balance: “a health mind”. 


The “resilience” is the ability to resist and renew "From high resistance, higher possibility to jump to get a health mind." 


Therefore, it does not matter, how bad our history has been, as long as we find the path that leads us to recover the health. This is the wonderful human system. So, yes, indeed it is terrible when a child got terrible and bad experiences, but it is not the end, even when the person has many dangerous elements inside his life, he can take a higher jump to stand up up again. 
Of course human must learn to walk first and run later. This process begins when we walk on the path of awareness and development from the fourth brain (the prefontal cortex), so we could be able to give a different meaning to our emotions, leave the personal history and release off those feelings which carried us in deep depression, those that destroyed our self esteem and brought us shame, guilt and victimization. 


The first step will be to stop throwing to the container negative experiences. It is necessary to connect us to a light flow energy to stop suffering. So we can achieve peace, calm and serenity, living without depending on someonelse or something, and interdependenting with others, feeling the pride to find ourselves walking on the right path on strong formed existence without care what others say about us because the only important is us now. The self esteem can health us again in the begining. 


XI. HOW TO HEAL 
How to rectify? How to build through prayers and meditation? How to be reconciled with ourselves? How to accept our body, our situation, our reality? How can we build new brain circuits in our brain? 
Is it really a challenge to be able to build new paths in our brain by ourselves and stop reacting and thinking wrong as we did before. Yes, it is a challenge, yes, but it is totally true possible. 


All of us commit mistakes in life, but mistakes are productive if they taught us something possitive to grow up. " Not every field is even and smooth-undulating, hilly ground is also part of the day to day business of harvesting”. 

As long as we have learned from our mistakes we wont fall in them again. 
So the first step will be: To find good positive experiences that allow us to feel pleasure on peace and joy of life. 


XII. THE FAITH 
Faith without deed is not profitable. Pray, recite and speak, is not faith. Faith must be alive through deeds and work. Faith is self-esteem and self-esteem is faith. 


People without good self-esteem can not have faith, because faith is the belief in the intangible. Who have faith knows very well who he really is, who is connected with, who lives inside him, how strength is inside and how valuated he is as a spiritual being in the universo, so then he is not afraid. "If there is faith there is no fear" and if there is no fear so there is a good self-esteem; People who have faith does not care if others accept hi mor not because he knows very well others have their own frustrations and mistakes, it is not important if other people judge or flatter him. People with good self-esteem can easily release, detach, and live without these chains. 


XIII. STEP BY STEP 
- The first step for the health is to admit the problem and our mistakes, then forgive ourselves and forgive others, and learn from our own experiences. 
This step is well known as "The admission", and means: "Recognizing internaly our faults not for a self-reproach, but for learning and jump to the next level." 


- The second step is “The acceptance”. It is when thoughts comes from the main to the heart and we are awarness and took seriously about the problem. This is the begining of a process when the patient usually perceives the damage he has done himself, it is an emotional and painful moment but there is no return. Acceptance is a virgin awarness stage, We can start over again new ways with new elements. 


- The third step is well known as “The faith”: This means to trust completely our situation in God, only He is able to give us the health again. 
God is bigger than we are. There is no ego that can resist this reality, it does not matter how great, rich, intelligent, profesional or important we are. The reallity is: We are quite small, we are so helpless and our life is so fragile. 
Therefore, it is really important to accept that our ego must decrease in order to accept God’s powerful. He is who knows deep inside our heart and can help us. 


So we realize God’s commands could be different from our desires, and we wonder why?? We are not agree when we think we are on the same level as God is. 


Trust in God really requires "humble." We can not go ahead if we are not able to leave our ego. 


This step is often misunderstood, because usully people wait for something to happen before they take the first step so they fall into a trap and never do nothing to move on.


Person for his own choice must have the initiative to do direct actions, so right deeds will help him to restructure his hurt self-esteem. 


Person should learn and set limits, step by step, must leave hesitation and insecurity aside and take decisions on this life. He cant reach suceed in the next steps if this one is not well done. He must work and process the shame and guilt that dont allow him to be ahead to beome an objective person. 

Prayer and fasting. 
Prayer, fasting and meditation are tools for purification and detoxification so he could be able to find himself and find God. 


- The fourth and fifth steps are a strong column base for the process to change. This stape will allow us to understand why people harmed us? Why we felt hurt?, what happened to us?


We use here the dialogue, the expressions, the words, and as much as we express ourselves, our awarness will be expanding. Here comes now the human’s spirit experience. 


But we must be careful to choose the right person to express with, the one who can listen us without judging, if the expression can be wide confidence we could be able to  feel express our faults, mistakes, bad choices or indecisions we lived in the past. 


It would be good to go to a therapy in group or individual, but with only with professionals. 


When we listen our own words, we could see lighter reducing the guilt and the obsession. Now, everything seems to be different, our look is mature and fairer. We’d be in a different dimension from our own reality. 


This process might not be achieved 100%, but we can dissapear a lot of paradigms and prejudices trough throwing garbage out.


- Sixth and seventh steps are about our character flaw.

We must be ready to quit out anger, egocentrism, ego, blackmailing, cheating, desires of control and desires to be always right.
We should analyze our own carácter flaw and realize they lead us to face the life as defense mechanisms against pain, suffering and threat. 
To achieve this goal we must search professional information, read and practice intelligence and intention.


After the expressesion and acceptation the mistakes and faults, we could be find ourselves as we really are.  


- Eighth and ninth step: "The reconciliation", also interpreted as “The forgiveness”. Forgive ourselves, forgive the people who harmed us, and forgive the people who suffered because our mistakes, and, if it is possible, so, repair the damages. 


To start over again, to forgive us, to reconcile us, to recognize the good and bad inside us, to accept us as we really are, accept our mistakes, our virtues, to accept our daily struggle, to accept our growth despite the mistakes we committed in the past., because the human’s experience is so ephemeral, here and now it worths to works hard, to forgive us and others, in order the resentment does not rules us and learn to real forgive on time. It is not possible to forgive us or others without understand this and without feel the compassion., because when somebody really forgives, so the resentment dissolves and dissapear, and the soul is free., the memory is released even though it remanis us the last experiences but now in a different meaning. 


- Tenth and eleventh steps. – The goal is to perform a good internal personal inventory. When we get here, we have a total possibility to reset our system.

 

Now we are light without the old mistakes. Our awarness has been expanded, and we are able to connect to our spirit trough faith. The pain, despair and victimization are far away.

 
So, the human’s experiences could bring to our lives, damages without the intention, but we can transform everything to a profitable benefit.

We have 2 ways: To damn us and others, or to grow up and improve ourselves. The choice is ours. 

“No work, no gain", the miracles do exist, but it is better to work hard and build them. 


Mystical (or religious) experience is a "real" possibility for us. People who experienced it before, are able to change the meaning in their lifes., they are able to expand their awarness in unity so, they can see the wolrd as it really is, without prejudices without personal performance. 


- The last step is about to awake the awarness. How to meet ourselves?, how to awake the sipirtualitty hidden inside us? and how to achieve the maturity, the balance and the estability?

It is time to apply a new lifestyle trough a healthy diet, to rest well enough and to practice exercise, taking care our mind, body and spirit. 


XIV. CONCLUSION. 
So we finally discovered the way for awarness development trough understanding the world where we live. 


When we find something pure, something positive, something warm and nice, something able to fill our needs; so, we wont let it go.
The faith and spirituality are real ways to find the health during human growth. 


Negation and intellectualization are defensive mechanisms. When somebody denials the problem, wont be able to start the personal growth process, so, if you would like to fight against the truth, let’s remember: “Negation denys itself”. 

The comprenhesion is reason and emotion in harmony and balance.

 

Therefore, we are our own laboratory, we can achieved our own goals time after time meanwhile we keep trying. 


Let’s make these questions: What happened to me? Who and how harmed me? How I let this happend to me? What did I learn? What kind of tools do I have to grow? How does it sink me? The searching for the answers would lead us to get to our own understanding and own compassion. 


Compassion (as love towards us) is the emotion that feed widely the human being needs.


The humble (as an element of truth) allow us to find our own experiences without blame, and to find us as we really are and accept our own mistakes, our daily struggle, our efforts and forgive our own faults but at the same time, learn from the mistakes to grow up.  


It is imposible to say "I can’t” for those corageous pepole who face the life and overcome the trials.

 

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