my diary

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September 19, 2009
已观看 332 次。

ok, Prince, u wanted see what I wrote...

it's stupid..

it's just story..

 

he had broken heart
she still looked for love
and he met her
he was saying, she is savior for him
she was saying, he is lovely vampire for her
she could do everything for him
he couldn't live without her
and day by day
they began to go away..
his heart didn't suffer already...
but her heart felt sth, which she couldn't call...
and when she realized that she love him
he had already another girl
so she was so fucking good
and didn't tell him what she feel to him
because, now, he has 'new life'..
he doesn't care about her
and she lost her chance
even she doesn't know when it happened
(...)
just three things are sure
she loves him.
she wants everything the best for him
and it's all her fault.
(...)
but he gave her so much...
he showed her what means love and wild happiness... :P
... that even metalheads can be sensitive
... that metal is not bad ;D
(...)
maybe, one day...
they will meet
and she will wear those black clothes and make that 'fucking awesome make-up'
and they will go to have fun together...
not as pair...
but at least as friends...

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August 20, 2009
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I’m really, really angry… and everything because of my mom… she again told me that I don’t want go out to people, that I don’t talk with them. Just I talk with these stupid metalheads…. And that I take stupid photos and I look terrible.. bla, bla, bla… can’t she understand that I’m not like all these stupid people from my village or my class? But she still tell me they normal and the only who is strange and insane is me…. Cool… :/ the worst that she doesn’t know how I am really. Before I didn’t show what I think really and always I thought about this what I do, what kind of photos I show my friends etc. but thanks one stupid guy, I opened my eyes and changed myself. And I like myself now.  But my mom tell me all the time that I’m not normal, that I should talk with people…. Bla, bla, bla.. it’s boring.. anyway, what can I talk with people from my village about? They are all hypocritical and just pretend nice  and friendly people. Mom grumble that I don’t go to disco or anywhere, I told her, I haven’t intend go to disco where are those fucking stupid guys! :/  everybody are the same, just look for the most beautiful  ‘barbie’ and later go fuck… pfff..that’s why I won’t go to disco. Damn.. is it so hardly to understand??? I think, no.  but my mom doesn’t want understand that I’m not like everybody. And I don’t want be. Anyway, it’s my life and my business, right? By the way, my sister is not better. She always shows my mom my crazy photos.. pfffff…. My sis is so commercial? She writes these stupid ‘HeLLoW! HoW ArE YoU?’ one letter small,  next big.. awful.. :S what’s more… my mom told me that I have to with my sis to disco on Sunday… I don’t know, my sis is small girl or what? She’s 14 yrs old! So, she can go alone!  

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August 16, 2009
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I feel that I'm sad again.... today in night I dreamed about black cat ( it means that I help person who doesn't deserve it :S) and about one boy...it's old affair and I don't understand why I dreamed about him...  and I think that I should stop help that person.. frankly, maybe he doesn't deserve it, he nothing to do for me, just always me... the worst thing that I help him because I love him... ehhhh.. damned stupid, I know.. :S lucky, soon, school year begin and I won't have so much time for thinking about him and my stupid emotional life... :S  so maybe I'll forget...                                        

see ya, people

take care :)

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